Blown Raspberries
by easilyobsessedctc
Summary: "And just as she predicted, when Hermione leaned close enough, Harry blew a loud, wet raspberry in her face." Harry/Hermione One-shot. Rated T for a bit of swearing.


**A/N:**_ Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but I sure wish I did. _

Good Morning! It's about 4:15am from where I'm living. Why do I always tend to write so late at night? So here's a little story of how I wrote the little story below. As I was attempting, emphasize attempting, to do my AP homework and such, I could NOT stop reading random Harry/Hermione fanfics and watching _Youtube_ videos of them. I get distracted so easily when my computer is on. I hate it. Then I just ended up writing this entire story, and I _still_ haven't finished my AP homework:( I hate being a procrastinator.

Anyhoo, without further ado, please enjoy!

* * *

Hermione Granger.

No-

Hermione Potter. _Ahh_, now that sounds better.

That sounded so much better. Just the way it rolls off the tongue is brilliant.

Her-mio-ne Pott-er.

_Her_-mio-_ne_ Pott-_er._

Her_-_

"_HARRY!"_

"Huh?"

"My goodness, Harry! I've been calling your name for about four times now. Are you alright? Do I need to take you to St. Mungos? Okay, you stay here while I go grab our coats so we can go-"

Just before my girlfriend stood up to fetch our coats, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down to a sitting position on my lap.

"There is no need for you to worry about me, darling. I was just thinking. I'm sorry to have worried your pretty little head," I emphasized by softly knocking the side of her head.

"Geez, Harry. For future reference, if you don't want to worry my 'pretty little head', then please respond when I'm calling you."

"Aye aye, captain."

"Very funny, Potter."

Ahh, _Potter_. If only my last name could be tied to her first. One day. One day it will be.

"Are you kidding me, Potter?"

"…Sorry, what?"

"Did we _not_ just go over this, Harry? You just want to worry me to bits don't you?" Hermione exasperatedly asked while she pushed herself up from my lap, "Do you even listen to anything I say anymore?" She asked the last question with a hint of hurt in her tone.

I didn't like that tone of voice coming from her. Especially if I was the cause of it. It gave me a pang of guilt and hurt. I quickly stood from the armchair to walk towards Hermione and gather her in my arms. When I didn't feel her returning my embrace, I grabbed both her arms and placed them around my shoulders.

I heard her give a "_humph_" and I responded by nuzzling her neck.

"Stop nagging at me, grandma."

Silence.

"…_Excuse me? _Harry James Potter, you did _not_ just accuse me of nagging you and call me a- a _grandmother_!_"_

She untangled her arms from around my shoulders and I could feel her try to push herself away from me but I just tightened my arms around her. I was stronger than her. Much stronger. I am a _man _after all, thank you very much.

She would call me an arrogant bastard and put me in my place if she heard what I just thought. The thought made me cringe.

"Harry! Let go of me so I can properly kick your arse!"

"Mmm, no thanks. I'm fine," I replied and embraced her even tighter, bringing her body flush against mine.

"Let me go!"

"Never."

"_Please?"_

Her sudden change in tone surprised me because it sounded as if she was crying, causing me to quickly look at her face, and was met with a splash of her saliva all over my face when she blew a raspberry at me. Because of my shock I had loosened my arms around her, which allowed her to break free and hop over to the other side of the couch, using the couch as a barrier between the two of us.

"That was disgusting, Hermione-"

"That's what you deserve for calling me a bloody nagging grandmother, you twit!"

"All I have to say to you is that you better hide, which would be difficult because this is _my_ flat after all. I know this place like the back of my hand."

"Yadda, yadda, yadda is all I hear. You talk too much, Potter. "

"Oh do I now? Granger, I'm going to make you regret spitting your lovely saliva all over me. Better run," and with that said, I lunged towards her over the couch.

She screamed and ran towards the kitchen island and we began to sort of do a dance as I chased after her around it. As she was panting on the other side of the island, smiling, she blew me yet _another _raspberry. Oh the nerve of this girl.

Just when I thought she couldn't surprise me anymore, she duped me by going one way and then quickly turning and sprinting the other way around the island. However, she wasn't quick enough for my Seeker reflexes and as she was about to prepare herself to hop over the couch once again, I tackled her and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

Bad idea.

The force of my body colliding with hers caused us to tumble over the couch and was headed toward the edge of the coffee table. Both of us noticed this and Hermione screamed, and her body tensed, preparing to hit the table. However, like the hero and gentleman I am, I twisted our body mid-air so that my body took all the impact from hitting the table. And let me tell you, we hit that wooden coffee table _hard_.

The wind was completely knocked out of me as we hit the carpeted floor. All I could manage was a loud, _"Oof!"_

"Oh my Merlin, are you alright Harry? Please tell me yes!"

"Fucking hell. Mmm… Yes," I quietly moaned.

This caused my girlfriend to give a small sad smile, "Always trying to comfort me, even when you're the one hurt. "

"The world does not always revolve around you, Granger," I teased, but then said in a more serious voice, "But yeah, of course. Anything to make my Hermione Granger smile."

Her smile turned to a more happier one and she leaned down from her sitting position to give me a kiss on the cheek, "Oh hush, cheese ball and tell me where it hurts."

"Well, from my view from this laying position and your kneeling position with your knees apart, it's sort of beginning to hurt in my more southern region. If you catch my drift."

Hermione quickly gasped and closed her legs, pulling her skirt over her knees.

"I was kidding, Mione."

I saw her take a quick glance toward my crotch area.

"No you're not."

"I know. I guess you caught me."

She giggled and brushed my hair out of my face, "You pervert. But seriously, where does it hurt, Harry? And don't tell me that it didn't hurt because I heard how loud that impact was. I'm surprised you didn't break the table in two."

"Just my back area, but I'm fine though Hermione. Really."

"You are lying through your teeth, Potter. Stop it."

I mumbled a quick, "Sorry."

"I don't want to move you. Are you alright with laying on the floor?"

"Yes, just hand me that pillow so I can lay my face on it."

Hermione turned and grabbed said pillow off the couch. Harry took the pillow from her hands and snuggled his face into it. He suddenly jumped when he felt small hands tug his grey shirt upwards, revealing his toned back.

"Just what are you planning to do, Mione?"

"Relax. I'm just going to give you a small back massage as a reward for taking the hit with the table. I know it hurt."

"Baby, you really don't have to d-"

"Quiet. No more talking and just enjoy this."

When she began to once again tug his shirt toward his shoulders, he allowed her. Then she noticed a red mark now beginning to turn purple, into a bruise, where his back made impact with the damn table.

"Oh Harry…" she whispered as her fingers ghosted over the large bruise.

"I'm fine, Hermione. I've been through worse," he said with a wink and placed his head on the pillow once more.

Hesitantly, Hermione began to work her fingers on her boyfriend's muscles. As she got the hang of it, her fingers became more confident as it worked to rid his back muscles from any knots.

They stayed in a comfortable silence as Hermione continued to massage and Harry almost on the verge of sleeping. Thinking that her boyfriend had already fallen asleep, Hermione began to think aloud.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I really am. I always tend to get you hurt and in trouble when it is always my fault. I'm such a nuisance. How you and Ron always seem to put up with me is amazing. I never really properly thanked you two for always saving me, always being there for me. Especially you. So, thank you Harry James Potter, for everything." After a bit of silence, with a long sigh Hermione continued to work on this particular knot on Harry's lower back.

"Are you serious, Granger?"

The sudden voice startled Hermione and caused her to gasp.

"You have no reason to say sorry, and I _never_ want you to ever feel that way about yourself again. You got it?"

All Hermione could do was numbly nod as she watched Harry slowly rise from his laying position to sit crossed-legged in front of her.

"You are the most beautiful, intelligent, witty woman I have ever met. Don't you ever deem yourself as any less, okay?"

Harry kissed her forehead as she nodded and decided to tease her a bit, "Plus, you, Ron, and I _are_ 'The Golden Trio', what would he and I be without our lovable bookworm genius?"

"Nothing. Just two babbling idiots," Hermione replied with a smirk.

"Ohh, I'm tattling on you to Ron."

"Go ahead. I'll just apologize with a back massage," and Hermione emphasized what she said my wiggling her fingers.

Surprised, Harry raised his eyebrows but then playfully glared at his girlfriend. Laying back down on the carpet with his head placed on Hermione's lap, Harry said, "You are not to give anyone else but myself a back massage. Ever."

"Aye aye, captain." replied a grinning Hermione whom was playing with Harry's hair.

"Oh, you're mocking me now are you?"

"No, no. No mocking is being done."

After a few minutes of silence, Hermione fingers stopped playing with Harry's hair. Noticing her stilled movements, Harry opened his eyes and looked upward toward her face.

"Does your back still hurt?"

"I'm fine, Love."

Gesturing with her hands for Harry to sit up, which he complied to, she once again lifted his grey shirt to reveal a nasty bruise.

"'I'm fine, Love' my arse. Harry, this looks painful! Please, tell me when you're hurt so I can try to help you."

"It just stings a little. It'll go away soon, don't worry."

"Mhmm, sure." Hermione mumbled as she leaned her head toward the large bruise.

"Mione, what are you doing?"

"Kissing your boo boo of course." With that said, she gently placed a soft kiss upon Harry's bruise. Usually, girls would be repulsed by something so gross, but for Hermione, if it helped Harry feel better, she didn't care what she had to do.

"You didn't have to do that. I know it's probably a nasty looking bruise."

"Yes I do. If it weren't for you taking the impact, I would have been the one to have hit that bloody coffee table. Thank you."

"Hermione Jane Granger, enough with these 'Thanks you's' and such. You're turning into a real cheese ball, you know that?"

Hermione giggled and gave Harry a chaste kiss on the lips, "Takes one to know one."

"I suppose so," He replied as he leaned in for a longer kiss.

About fifteen minutes later, Hermione was still sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the couch and Harry still resting his head upon her lap as she played with the strands of his dark hair.

"Hermione."

"Hmm?"

"Can you give me a kiss?"

"What?"

"Just lean down and give me a kiss, please. My lips miss yours."

With a smile, Hermione leaned down to give her wonderful boyfriend another kiss, but then noticed that he was smiling a smile that said he was up to no good. And just as she predicted, when Hermione leaned close enough, Harry blew a loud, wet raspberry in Hermione's face.

When she recoiled back in shock, Harry took this chance to quickly stand and run off towards his bedroom, laughing heartily the entire way.

Did she say _wonderful _boyfriend? She meant to say _totally about to get his arse beat_ boyfriend.

After wiping her face with her sleeve and recovering from her shock, Hermione stood and marched toward Harry's bedroom,

"_Harry James Potter!"_

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**A/N: **YAY, done with my first Harry/Hermione fanfic.

Usually I don't really like when summaries say "My first fanfic ever..." because I feel as though the author isn't very confident in their writing. Or maybe I'm just reading too deep into the message? OHKAY, I am now rambling. I guess this is what happens when I'm writing stories at such a blasphemous time of day- err, morning.

**ATTENTION:** I know that there are several **Harry/Hermione** fanfics out there that are incredible and I was wondering if you guys could recommend me a few to read. I have read a few that I absolutely love because they're so original and wonderfully written.

So, if you have a few fanfics that you are willing to recommend to me, please just give the** link to it, or the title and author** and hopefully I'll be able to search it on here:)

Reviews always place a smile on my face and are cherished, please and thank you!


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